Saturday, June 18, 2011

Speedsters & Whippers & Weavers. Oh My!

I truly cannot believe how many bad drivers reside in ABQ.  Daily, I fear for my life and the lives of those around me.  Not even kidding.  It is so bad that I am actually contemplating buying a SUV for safety reasons.  Well, more than contemplating as we already test drove some vehicles and we have been doing plenty of research on the best one to buy.

There are all types of ABQ drivers:
  1. Sneaksters.  Some ABQ drivers must think the rest of us are psychic as they never use their blinkers, whether turning corners or changing lanes.  This drives me bananas.
  2. Speedsters.  They must not teach ABQ drivers that the speed LIMIT is actually the maximum speed you are allowed to travel on the road.  Of course we all go slightly over this at times, but the general rule is about 5 over, not 15.
  3. Creepers.  Contrary to what some ABQ drivers may think, driving extremely slow, such as 55 MPH on the highway where the speed limit is 70 MPH, is actually quite dangerous.  It is just as scary to quickly approach a creeper as it is to be passed by a speedster.
  4. Drifters.  There are two types of "lane changers" in ABQ: drifters and whippers.  There are those that believe they should be very cautious when changing lanes and they slowly inch over from one lane to the next - drifters.  
  5. Whippers. On the other hand, there are those that must jerk their steering wheel as they practically flip their car when changing lanes - whippers.  Doesn't matter if you are a drifter or a whipper, you are both dangerous.  Even more scary - a drifter and whipper changing into the same lane.
  6. S.P.I.L.L.s.  This is actually an acronym Micah and I came up with in Colorado as we were very annoyed with this type of driver: Slow Poke In Left Lane, or SPILL for short.  This is the person poking along in the left lane of they highway while they're on their cell phone, talking to someone else in the car, or just not paying attention for whatever reason (believe it or not, Colorado actually has a law against being in the left lane unless passing now).  Surprisingly, SPILLs are even more abundant in ABQ.  This is awful on a four lane highway since ABQ drivers obviously don't understand that the right lane is the slowest and the left lane is the fastest.  Which leads to the next problem.
  7. Weavers.  I swear some people think morning rush hour is a great time to practice their Nascar skills.  I am often yelling at people for this very reason on my way to work.  Not a great way to start the day.
  8. Red Light Racers.  When we first moved to CO Micah and I were shocked by how many people sped up when they saw yellow lights.  We soon caught on that this was necessary to avoid being rear-ended since this was the common driving style in CO.  However, we will not follow suit with the Red Light Racers in ABQ.  It is scary how many people see a light turn red and step on the gas.  It is so bad that when you are the first person stopped at a red light that turns green you actually must pause and look both ways to make sure everyone has stopped before proceeding.  Just awful.
  9. Emergency Vehicle Ignorers.  I thought it was common knowledge that you should pull over to the right and stop when an emergency vehicle is behind you.  This simply does not happen in ABQ.  Still not really sure why.
  10. Chicken Players.  This is a daily occurrence.  Tramway is a road by our house that I drive on with many short merge lanes.  For some reason ABQ drivers think we should be playing chicken so they just move into my lane, instead of yielding, when in the merge lane.  Since I drive such a small vehicle I am generally the chicken.  Yes, I do have to hold my fingers down as I speed ahead of the Chicken Player and get ahead of them again (the Subaru may not be big but at least it's quick).    
  11. Last Second Stoppers. These are the people who wait until the last second to stop at a stop sign.  I try to be a defensive driver so they usually cause me to slam on the brakes and or swerve as I am anticipating an accident.  These guys really fool me.
  12. Nose Pokers.  I do acknowledge the fact that ABQ has an abundance of blind corners, but seriously, can't you stop behind the stop sign first and then move forward slowly to see if it is safe to turn?  Quite often I have to swerve around ABQ drivers who have their nose poked out into the crossroad.
  13. Crunchers.  A dented or crunched up car is not a sign of honor like a battle wound.  When I see a crunched up car I get away as quickly as possible to avoid being the car's next victim.
  14. Drunk Drivers.  Unfortunately, drunk drivers are quite a problem here.  I know this is a problem everywhere but I hear about them a lot more often in ABQ than I did living in CO.
I could probably go on forever describing the variety of ABQ drivers that I battle each day.  It's ridiculous.  Thanks for letting me vent :).